Wait… that
came out weird… let me try again… Yeah, here goes: remember that moment
sometime during The Trilogy of Five when Arthur Dent learns to fly because he
kind of forgot to land? I feel a little
bit like that, or a lot, rather! And now
I’ve got my own Fenchurch to fly around with!
Or, er, maybe Stephen’s Arthur and I’m Fenchurch, you know, whatever… Not that that matters, so moving on.
What I’m
trying to say, is that those of you who’ve travelled with me over the past year
have witnessed the pain, the confusion, the anguish, the crazy ramblings and
one or two overenthusiastic displays of feelings for men I’d just met (Tom
Hiddleston does *not* count. He’s an
actor, he’s not real in my life.) (Oh, wait, Stephen is an actor… erm, yeah,
but he counts. He’s real here and now with me, enough said.). Those “statements” within the blog were
obviously jokes, but some people took them too seriously and they came back to
hit me in the face a few months ago… I
know sometimes jokes have an element of truth behind them, but like my friend
Laura said the other day, anybody who knows me will know that such truth lays
in the fact that I deeply wanted to find something real; so maybe it was my way
of telling the Universe “Hey, something like this but even better, please?”… And you know what? It worked! Cos seriously, when I say that I never got
physical with like 90% of the men I fancied or dated (hardly ever both at the
same time), I’m not exaggerating… but I do know now, that was my own doing, because there was always that
something I didn’t like and it just
kept making me want to stick to my list!
Everyone told me that I was crazy, and that I would never find a man who
could ever fulfill my every requirement… To all of you who
said that, I have to reply: you were
right! Stephen Cole doesn’t have a car, but he meets all of the 42 remaining
requirements, and he even added a couple of his own that I didn’t even know I
wanted, so yeah, I’m keeping him! No one
really needs a car in England, anyway, so I was going to cross that one off the
list at some point. (Those of you who
actually enjoy driving or whose commutes would not be happily handled without a
car may be free to disregard that last line.)
Right, but
what about the rest of my life? What else has changed? Well, I brought Wideawake to full completion
and sent it to an agent, so that’s a huge deal for me… also, I’m translating my short story
collection and starting a whole new non-fiction book, besides continuing work
on the Pentacle series. Everything I start
I will finish from now on, not like in past years, when I spent two weeks in
Ann Arbor working on a novel just to flick it away because it disagreed with my
reasons to write it… or like with Pentacle itself, which I’ve reset five or six
times now! I will finish those books and
you will hear from me! Oh, wait, that came
out like a threat… Eh, I will finish those books and my name shall be
known! Still a bit dark overlord-ish,
but yeah, works better…
The
business thing, well, that one fell through, but I have just opened my proper healing
page online and you’re all welcome to check it out… (ahem, advert! http://clarityfoundinmindandspace.com/).
(Yeah, I didn’t think it though with how long that name is… I might change it later on, but Clarity Found
will remain…).
There is
one thing I must do, though, and that is to thank everyone who’s been with me
on this wonderful path, reading me and lending me their ears and shoulders;
friends and family and mentors; from the youngest to the oldest; all far away
so close, as we’ll always be… We may not
talk as often as we’d wish, and see each other even less, but let me tell you
this, I have not, any single moment, stopped being grateful of everyone who’s
touched my life… well, it took me a bit to acknowledge that those who brought the
darkness were actually blessings in disguise, because they steered me into this particular path, but you all know
what I mean.
This seems
like an end-of-the-year closing entry, but I’ll still write next week… that’ll
be my Hobbit verdict, however, like last year’s… And the New Year’s one, on the first Friday
of 2015, will be my read-in-the-year-top-20 book list… this, nonetheless, is the end of an era for
me, because once again I’m leaving London, but mostly because I have finally
found what I was looking for, and this farewell to the city marks a new beginning
for me. Of course I’ll keep searching
for the rest of my wish list, namely my getting myself sorted as an author, and
lifting the online business so that I can manage my life as well! (Please Universe,
you see how hard I work, make it happen?).
Anyway, I
suppose I wanted to close the year with an account of what you’ve seen me go
through, and brief answers about what I have and haven’t managed, but more than
that, I wanted to close the circle from when I started a year ago to the moment
I am now, so that next year starts fresh and new because the healing will have
taken place!
I wish you
all the best… Merry Christmas, Hanukkah
or Winter Solstice (or anything else you might celebrate) (or all at once!),
and see you next week to talk about Bilbo Baggins and his quest again!
Cheers and
blessings!
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario