martes, 1 de marzo de 2016

A new perspective on facing the old ghosts


We all know how frustrating it is to have to go back to an issue that we thought we’d already healed, especially when it’s taken us a long time to work it out, or when our circumstances have changed a lot for the better, or when we have seen so much progress on that account that we’d already reached a point of being proud of ourselves…  Yes, we’ve all been there, and we all dread being there again, and we constantly prepare so that it doesn’t happen – yet we’re all probably going to be there again anyhow!  So, what’s to be done about this?  If it’s unavoidable, why do we keep on trying to make things better for ourselves?  If we’re going to have to deal with the same issue over and over again, why do we even bother healing?  Well, the answer is simple enough: because we all deserve to live a life in which we are healed and whole and satisfied.

Why does this happen, then?  If we all deserve to feel good with what we’ve done with ourselves, why do we have to keep looking at certain issues over and over again?  The way most people think about this is that they haven’t quite learned what they needed to learn, and that’s why they have to be in the same situation again – that could be true in the case of people that find themselves over and over in similar situations: jobs that give them the same kind of challenges, relationships that fail for the same reasons, or social, financial or health issues akin to previous ones.  In that case, a full reassessment of their attitude and response to those problems has to be done, but what if it is that we only have to look at the circumstances again without having to undergo the actual situation?  In that case, there might be good news ahead!  Heraclitus said: “No man steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man”, and in a very deep, spiritual way, it’s the same with the problems: they are not the same problems that they were to begin with; and even more to the point, you are not the same person that you were back then, because you’ve already undergone a huge learning and, hopefully, evolving process.

Ask yourself this: what if you have to see that life you left behind because you have to show to yourself right here, right now, how much progress you’ve made?  What if the challenge this time is to show yourself how much better you are at this moment, how much you’ve evolved, how much you have now to feel proud of yourself about?  Plenty of people feel afraid of this moment, because they find it hard to believe that they might have had so much progress, and they might even feel undeserving to have achieved something or to have the respect of others for how brilliantly they’ve done in their path, so could it be then that this bend of the labyrinth consists of a test from yourself to yourself?  We all have to undergo it sometime, because we also need to respect ourselves and be self-aware of our achievements, only some people find it more difficult than others!  And some people let it go to their heads, I know, but they have their own set of challenges to work with…  Still, maybe this change of perspective is one many of us need in order to remain strong and keep going, and I want to share with you how I came to that conclusion.

I’ve spoken many times on this blog about my ongoing process of having to look at the same situation from different angles, about acquiring a new perspective on an old issue, and about finding myself face to face with old ghosts and shadows.  Today I am living a similar process to that, except that it is kind of reversed: it’s not about the being there “again”, but about having read an entry from two years ago which I could have easily written a couple of months ago instead!  Save a few changes that is – two years ago I was single and frankly very scared that I would remain that way, whereas today I am happily married to an incredible man; two years ago I was moving out of London and back to Mexico as a frustrated jobless Graduate, whereas today I have moved out of Durango and into England as a resident and a freelance writer… so a few major changes that is!  Still, the entry that I cleaned up a few days ago made me think how similar those months after arriving from London were to those months of waiting from my residency to come through: both times I had to confront my issues as a misfit, both times I had to face my fears of not being able to succeed, and even both times I had to fight my inner demons regarding my confidence in myself, physically, emotionally and intellectually…  It took me a few weeks to realise that it was not about having to learn something new, or having to undergo the process again because I hadn’t done a good enough job the first couple of times around, but because I had to see how much progress I’d made!  It seems like a very basic thing to mention, but sometimes we need a reminder of the most basic things in order to keep going.  Sometimes we need to be told that we have the tools we need, and sometimes we need to have a go at something again so that we can show how better we can handle it this time around.

So, my dear readers, I hope this has been a pleasurable and helpful read for you, and I hope you have a wonderful month ahead of you!

Many blessings and much light!

Sandra Cole ≈ Writer, healer, seeker, lover


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