Last Saturday was also my birthday. I had been extremely disappointed last year for not being able to take part, and so being included this year made my birthday extraordinary! And doing it for charity even more so!
As a disclaimer, this is not a review of the event, but rather a retelling of my experience in it and several emotions that came up, which I have to address for my own sake and perhaps of others as well. To stand there in the hall while I was being painted was impressive, I will say! To watch all the artists at work, creating some of the most beautiful renditions that I have ever seen in my life, was pure inspiration come alive! Watching Mel herself collaborate with Debbie Payne to make two beauties into completely different Goddesses: Bastet and Aphrodite, Morgan Pandolfino and Bonnie Stafford respectively, was breathtaking. Watching the power team of Abi Falkner and Star Falkner Neal create a powerful and nurturing Horned God (with probably the most beautiful painting of a stag that I've ever seen right on Star's chest) was incredibly grounding. Watching Kerrie Suzie Sudburry be transformed by Sian Eirwen Drew into a living Fire and then dance with her Luak Fire Tribe rings on the catwalk, was tantalising. Watching Eddy Whirl adorn his good friend Sam Smith the Blacksmith to become Thor (with a Sif heart on his bicep and all), as Sam carried his own hammer with pride and dignity, was utterly uplifting. Watching Linda Ravenscroft, our go-to Faery lady here in Glastonbury, transform one of her closest friends, the sweet and lovely Melanie Woodbury, into the Morrigan, was iconic. Watching Carrie Cunnington discover an entire galaxy on Louise Neale's back will feed me soothing dreams and healing for years to come!The very talented Robyn, who painted me, is an experienced henna artist and face painter and I hope I'm right in believing that after this she'll also be sought after for body painting! She chose the Goddess Arianrhod - or rather, Arianrhod came to us as we sat and talked about ideas after the traditional blessing of the Wren during Yuletide here in Glastonbury. As I wish to close with my experience with embodying Arianrhod and what it meant to me, I'll talk over the other stuff first: the things that came up that I'm in need to express...
Now, I haven't heard a single negative thing about the event, or about any of the artists or models, but rather everyone has been constantly in full awe and support of the intricate beauty of all the creations. There was, however, a very strange comment on one of my new friends' threads when she shared her pictures of the event: "But what was it for? In the end, nothing but naked people strutting around in their underwear and covered in paint. Great confidence, though." I simply answered that it had been to raise funds for Children's World, but there was plenty more I still needed to answer, although I didn't quite know it at the time...You see, I come from a country where taking part in an event such as this is highly criticized, even considered tacky and shameful... Not to say that people in Mexico don't appreciate body art at all, oh no! They appreciate it in the viral videos that we send each other on facebook and WhatsApp, they might even appreciate it greatly if it was brought by a company from the outside, with European, American, Japanese or Brazilian models, maybe even enough to take their families to it! But for someone from their midst to do it? Oh, no... No no no no no... No no no no no... And if it so happens that that someone from their midst who wants to do it looks like me? Ohhhh no... No no no no no no no no no no! No no no no no no no!
Or, maybe I'm exaggerating - maybe it's *not* everyone in Mexico that thinks like that. Maybe it's just the specific society that I was born and raised in. As much as I love my family and friends, and I always hurt so deeply for not being considered enough by them in so many ways, I have to admit that this time around it's so incredibly clear why I'm here and not there...
It's not so much whether I'm considered beautiful enough or not anymore - even though I was bullied throughout my life because of the way I look and I was constantly told I would never make it as a model or as an actress, and only a few people back in Mexico were ever supportive of my choices - family and friends which I've just referred to... What does any of this have to do with Children's World, I hear you ask? Well, the event, magnificently organized by Mel Broom and Stephen Duross, was open to beginners and veterans alike, which meant that first timers such as Robyn Jean, who painted me, would be showcasing her work next to fantasy art legends such as Terry English and John Mason, and that first time models, such as myself, would be sharing the catwalk with internationally renowned models such as Sofie Maceanruig and Sunnie Daze, and pretty much no one looked down on the beginners! To many people that might be a given, and even those mentioned here could be wondering why I'm even remarking on it - but I know for a fact that it's not like that all over the world, and that it needs to be said.
So, when someone asked what this was for, that's why a huge part of the answer got stuck in my throat! So, yes, it was an event for charity and for the entertainment of the community (otherwise it wouldn't have been a sold out event!), but it might also be a huge eye-opener for those who live in different places of the world, considering how they view the arts, the human body, and the expression of both - let alone sexuality! That last one might be a subject for another day, but there is still something associated with that which needs to be addressed: the taboo subject of the beauty of the human body.
Yes, I said taboo. At this time and age we're all used to sayings like "body positivity" and "real women have curves", and even events like this are often marketed as for "no matter what size or shape", which, to begin with is very much all right for helping people feel more confident and to raise awareness in terms of physical and mental health, but I believe we need to look deeper into that. In certain communities this might mean that your courage in taking part in it only relies on how *you're not* model material and that strutting about next to those people who are *real* beauties is something that only someone who has that kind of courage can do. It's a really passive-aggressive way of telling someone they're not very worth finding attractive... Yet it doesn't mean the person isn't attractive, as most of what's considered attractive in societies of that kind is extremely corrupted by the media and social standards (which, as I mentioned above with the example of the body art viral videos, are double standards!).
Now, I have written a lot already on this blog about real beauty and natural beauty, and do not wish to go around in circles, but as I also mentioned before, I have experienced a great amount of bullying and emotional abuse because of the way I look, and it's important to me that this bit is also left clear in case someone is going through a similar issue: I grew up in Latin America, which literally means that if you're intending to become an actress or model, the first thing you're instructed to do is to go and get a lipo, lip fillers and a boob job. I'm not even kidding. The lip fillers might be unnecessary if you'd rather get hair extensions. You get extra points if you do both. And, oh yes, you need to wear approximately 20 layers of makeup by day and 35 by night, otherwise you won't catch anyone's attention. I might have exaggerated the amount of makeup layers by five or six... If you don't do any of those things, then you're not beautiful. It doesn't matter how you look naturally, as only makeup delivers beauty... And only fake breasts are considered beautiful and sexy, as natural large breasts are seen as a cause of shame for the bearer - something that must be covered at all costs and never ever be shown in any sort of revealing or seductive way! All right, all right, this might have already changed as well in the last 10 years or so, but I'm still receiving backlash for my breasts, so there are things about this subject that makes me wonder quite a lot...
Of course, anyone who gets surgery for any kind of medical reason is of course fully worthy of respect, such as a woman who's gone through reconstructive surgery due to cancer, or a trans woman for her transition, or any kind of facial or body reconstruction after an accident or illness, but the idea of "only through surgery and makeup you'll be able to make it in the industry" that Mexico (and most of Latin America) has is undoubtedly highly detrimental to people's mental, emotional and physical health. I shall keep addressing this subject accordingly in future entries.
But, there were also men in the event, I hear you say... Right, and you think they don't undergo their own complicated issues regarding their looks or the pressure to be a certain way? In the case of the extraordinary models I had the good luck of sharing the stage with, I was struck by how manly and gentle they were all at the same time, and how much presence they had in the room while being painted and then on the catwalk too. In any case and event, I am referring to the emotional and psychological abuse that any one of us might have gone through in our past, regardless of gender or age, for which the act of getting up onto that catwalk might have been a beautiful step in our healing path - and lo and behold, we've got one more reason for this event to exist!
Now, I am incredibly lucky to have an amazing husband who not only completely supports me but also constantly goes to great pains to help me get out of the vicious circle of horrid fear and paranoia I keep ending up in... I had 32 years noxious programming to get rid of even before I met him, but Stephen is always there at the ready, just like he was a week ago, front row and taking pictures of me as Arianrhod. He was there in the morning, carrying everything we needed, and then again to watch the process flow, and yet again at night to watch me dance around naked in front of our community and several hundred visitors. This gorgeous man knows I'm worth supporting, and once again, that's something I could not have found in Durango... This gorgeous man knows I'm full of art and full of fire and that if I don't shine outwardly I will quietly burn in my seat until there's nothing left of me. And he is not afraid to help me shine. He is proud to help me show to the world what I can give! And so we both shine together, as His & Hers Theatre Company or with any other company or group we're working with - although more on that later!
Back to the goodness the event brought to us participants, regardless of whether the models were at their full ease on the catwalk or were breaking a huge paradigm and facing their fears, everybody shone and dazzled the audience on the day! There was possibly no way it could have been a competition, as every single walking canvas there had so much to be greatly applauded for, including the MCs, who made sure the evening was fully appreciated by everyone. Just to give you an example of the nurturing nature of the event, Mel, Debbie, Jan Webster and Tracy Osborne ran around all day making sure everyone was being taken care of, even though they had their own brilliant models to paint - and they have carried on being incredibly supportive to all even after all's done and finished!
So, to return to the beauties of having spent my birthday giving my birthday suit a coat of paint, not only was being painted over with brushes and sponges an extremely therapeutic experience (thanks to Diana Malling and of course the lovely Robyn herself!), but also the experience of being gazed at approvingly first by the other artists and models and then by members of the public when the doors opened so everyone could see the process of creation, was ultimately life-affirming and so emotionally rewarding! The moment of stepping on to the stage in all my glory - naked, blue and glowing - was a moment I had been waiting for all my life. I'm there, once again, where it all started: at the moment when my soul decreed that my life would be about creativity and creation, about reaffirming myself and others, about bringing hope and joy to all who watch me be me, and maybe even inspire others to be themselves as well...
In the roles I take, as I have taken some before, I don't mind the darkness and pain; in fact, I thrive on them! I let my psyche work its way into the character so I can become her and we are one. I work out the things that I might have had to fight through in the past. The dark is fine with me, and so is the light. This time I was Arianrhod, the Lady of the Silver Wheel, a Welsh Goddess with a tragic story who lives in a castle in the stars: Caer Sidi, in the constellation of Corona Borealis. You can see the castle and constellation depicted on my back. Arianrhod is also a Moon Goddess, a messenger between the worlds, and her companion is the owl, so I decided to portray her as a flowing force, flirty and serene, joyful and resolute, with a touch of classic rock and a pinch of sea salt for effect.
And thus I close today, happy, contented and warm at the thought of what this community stands for, and what it strives for!
See you again next time,
Sandra Tena Cole ~ Actress, Model, Writer, Dreamer, Achiever.
Sandra's Amazon Author Page
His & Hers Theatre Company
Sandra's Instagram Portfolio
Glastonbury Body Art Festival
Back to the goodness the event brought to us participants, regardless of whether the models were at their full ease on the catwalk or were breaking a huge paradigm and facing their fears, everybody shone and dazzled the audience on the day! There was possibly no way it could have been a competition, as every single walking canvas there had so much to be greatly applauded for, including the MCs, who made sure the evening was fully appreciated by everyone. Just to give you an example of the nurturing nature of the event, Mel, Debbie, Jan Webster and Tracy Osborne ran around all day making sure everyone was being taken care of, even though they had their own brilliant models to paint - and they have carried on being incredibly supportive to all even after all's done and finished! So, to return to the beauties of having spent my birthday giving my birthday suit a coat of paint, not only was being painted over with brushes and sponges an extremely therapeutic experience (thanks to Diana Malling and of course the lovely Robyn herself!), but also the experience of being gazed at approvingly first by the other artists and models and then by members of the public when the doors opened so everyone could see the process of creation, was ultimately life-affirming and so emotionally rewarding! The moment of stepping on to the stage in all my glory - naked, blue and glowing - was a moment I had been waiting for all my life. I'm there, once again, where it all started: at the moment when my soul decreed that my life would be about creativity and creation, about reaffirming myself and others, about bringing hope and joy to all who watch me be me, and maybe even inspire others to be themselves as well...
In the roles I take, as I have taken some before, I don't mind the darkness and pain; in fact, I thrive on them! I let my psyche work its way into the character so I can become her and we are one. I work out the things that I might have had to fight through in the past. The dark is fine with me, and so is the light. This time I was Arianrhod, the Lady of the Silver Wheel, a Welsh Goddess with a tragic story who lives in a castle in the stars: Caer Sidi, in the constellation of Corona Borealis. You can see the castle and constellation depicted on my back. Arianrhod is also a Moon Goddess, a messenger between the worlds, and her companion is the owl, so I decided to portray her as a flowing force, flirty and serene, joyful and resolute, with a touch of classic rock and a pinch of sea salt for effect.And thus I close today, happy, contented and warm at the thought of what this community stands for, and what it strives for!
See you again next time,
Sandra Tena Cole ~ Actress, Model, Writer, Dreamer, Achiever.
Sandra's Amazon Author Page
His & Hers Theatre Company
Sandra's Instagram Portfolio
Glastonbury Body Art Festival
