However,
this is a serious day for me, because the answers I have been looking for all
my life have finally arrived (the endorsement for me to do what I love to do
most in life, if you will), but since I’ve still got to make my way through the
logistical part of it, I will get solemn for a moment. I was going back and forth between uploading
a picture that symbolizes my state of mind or rambling on about the actual
boggled state of my head instead, and I came up with a version of both;
something that will speak to you about my lands, my personalities, what I’m
leaving and receiving, my writings and my passion. Nonetheless, I also wrote something about it…
not so much to make you think what I wish you to think about it, but because I
have the words to describe what it is in my head and heart and soul, and I do
not wish to keep them apart from the images…
I took
these two sunsets in Durango some weeks before coming back to England, the
first two photos from the entrance of the building where my parents work, the
other one from my room at their house… sunrises and sunsets have always meant a
lot to me, and now that I’m looking for inspiration to finish the third draft
of my novel, Wideawake, I feel like it’s a sunset for it, because once I hand
it over it’s like I am starting a closing chapter on that period of my
life. I like that. I love it, in fact, and I am getting so much
inspiration from the people I love, those close and those far, everyone who has
always cheered for me and knows that my children come in due time even if a
year “late”, that I can’t find enough words to say thanks… I realize that I’d said last year that by
that December I’d be sending the book to an agent: What the hell was I
thinking? That was putting too much pressure
on me, and on my characters as well! But
this time around I’ve had more than enough time to work it out, slowly and
steadily, with the support of tutors like Anne Aylor, whose input was invaluable,
from my friend Nikolas and my sister Gina, who have not read it yet but have
been kind enough to let me speak about Thalía and Andrew Carter and Mara
Sanders, and know them as well as I do, and now from my wonderful Stephen, who’ll
be receiving the book shortly for further cleaning (and by me writing this here
and making it public, I’m making a binding social contract and commitment that
I shall be working towards with myself; with the people who I care about and any
kind strangers who take a peek inside this entry, as my witnesses!)
(Ahhh!!!) (Love it!! The pressure of it and the emotion of it…!!).
However, I
said “my lands” and so far I am placing only Durango in a visual here… I’m mentioning
my parents, though, because it means a lot that I took these pictures from
their work place and the house I will always be proud to call home as long as
they’re there… I am a creation of them,
and they have given me and taught me so many skills and work ethics and habits,
that Wideawake becomes their grandchild as easily as I call it my child, make
of that what you will… It’s only because
of them that I have managed to be here in England now, and it’s because of what
I’ve learned from them that I can start smelling success really nearby… So they receive my absolute thanks as well,
and one day we will all look back and see my path and consider how scared I was
a year ago to not be able to fully finish a novel in less than a year, and how happy I am now that I am being able to
put everything I have ever learned (and am still learning) to practice, and the
sense of accomplishment that comes with it…
And it makes me wonder: Who knows how many people I will be able to
teach these skills later on to?
And to that
land that I am giving you as a visual… the land that made me ache so much that
I was able to grow to be the person I am now, to the land that holds cherished
family and friends and familiars as well, to that land I also give my thanks! Now it’s my time to step over here (as soon
as I figure out the logistics, like I said), but worry not Durango, cos I will
vouch for your beauty and your warmth and send you people over to see you and
touch you and enjoy… I can see it, too,
you know? I’ve said it many times before… Nothing in my way I feel about England
changes how much good I actually think of you.
There are many houses and places we call home, in an automatic way, you
see, and my parents’ house is in your midst, of course, but what if it was
otherwhere? That is a different kind of
home, that’s the memory one, the cherished and nurturing one, the one we can
always return to for comfort and warmth (lucky humans that we are); but there
is also that other home we have to build ourselves as adults, whether we decide
to change cities or not, and I have already chosen mine… We have talked about
this, remember? And even now I hear you
ask why I’m not even typing in Spanish, and I can only say, we have already
talked about this too! My time will come
to write in that language again, but for now think of me as the one who grew in
mind, body, and creativity from your deserts and your mountains, and your
insane winds and from your rain, and took it all to create a galaxy in the arms
of the home she afterwards chose… Thank
you Durango, thank you forever, and I’ll be seeing you soon!
So I may
not be writing as lengthy as I usually do on this lovely Friday, but trust in
me that I am putting as much passion in it as I usually do… I am stating, decreeing and wishing really
really hard for the enjoyment of the sunset of this book, so that it has a
refreshing, rejuvenating sleep and rises beautifully when its time to wake up with
the Sun comes!!
Cheers and
I will keep you all updated!! And so
many many many thanks for your constant support!!
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario